This first post is dedicated to a reframing phrase that is very personally important to me. It’s one I use when I experience something that I don’t enjoy, appreciate or wish to experience again. I simply say “It’s not for me.” I may not even say it out loud, it’s just a reminder to me that not liking something is based on my own frame of reference. Someone else likes brussels sprouts very much, but they’re not for me. Many people enjoy jumping out of airplanes, that’s also not for me.
I physically cringe these days as I read people saying things like “that sucks”, “I hate that”, “that’s total shit”, “only an idiot would…” and other similar phrases. If they could simply put themselves in a position to see this experience (food, art, carnival rides, etc) through the eyes of someone who actually does enjoy it and simply accept the fact that “It’s not for them” they could even learn to enjoy these experiences vicariously. Instead, they use language that devices and polarizes, missing the opportunity to learn and grow. As previously mentioned, brussels sprouts are not for me. However, I’ll gladly make them for those that do enjoy them so I can participate in that enjoyment.
Now this applies to lots of stuff in life, but it doesn’t apply to things like serial rapists, dictators and other reprehensible acts and actors. If you make the jump from what I’m saying to me condoning the behavior of the Taliban or Adolph Hitler you are being fatuous and simple, deserving of being “called out”.
Now, the reason that this is the subject of my first post is that I intend to write more posts. At some point, some human being is going to decide to tell me that:
- I suck
- My writing sucks
- My opinion sucks
- My parents wear army surplus footwear
- Some combination of the above
When that inevitable event occurs, I will happily link right back to this first post as a way to express my personal frame of reference that “It’s not for you.”